Welcome to paradise

"dear mama can you hear me whining?
It's been six whole weeks since I left your home.
This sudden feeling's left me trembling
'Cause now it seems that I am out there on my own
And I'm feeling so alone."

I need a serious break. I think I'm allowed to ask for one now, although I feel like I shouldn't, for certain reasons which should only be revealed later.
I've been going three years without a break, skipping from job to job without completing an entire year, how healthy is that? My shoulders are stiff as stone everyday.
It's fucked up to wake up and the first thing you think about is the last girl you kissed accompanied by the words "I'm alone." I still wake up and look sideways to make sure nobody's in bed, fuck. It's like losing a hand and still feeling it afterwards.
Maybe it's time to look at the bright side! Yes, there's that bright future waiting for me. It demands me to do things for my own sake, which are more hard work, but it'll pay off.
Probably after more months of hard labour. Capitalism stole my virginity.