Love Rollercoaster

Today I'm a bit better. Yesterday I was shit.
Last night I had some friends over for dinner, which made me excited enough to prepare something good. So I went and bought some bacon to go with the steak and spaghetti.
But going to the supermarket and even cooking by myself has shown itself such a hard task that I was on the verge of crying, or blowing up, every single minute. It's just so hard to do things alone that you were used to doing in pair.
I'm pretty sure my guests felt that because they were seemingly ill at ease, and that makes me feel a bit worse for my failure as a host.
The bottle of wine, which I had been keeping for a more romantic occasion, just made me more whiny, but was a great way to make me sleep early.

There are other situations bugging me, on the professional side, which I prefer not to cite in public. I'll just say for now that the big train of life is passing by and I'm jumping in.

Grandpa's sick and seems in a pretty scary state. Fuck, I don't want to get old...