Freaky as hell.

Today I took an afternoon nap. Yes, my dayjob friends, that does still exist! I remembered it was a possibility.
But soon I also remembered everytime I took one of them, I had the liveliest and strangest dreams. Today's was no different.

It was the day Rachel would arrive. I pick her up at the airport early, certainly not as excited as I currently am and much less than the way I'll be freaking out when it's the real thing; she didn't seem too moved either, although we both were grinning all the time. But besides happy, she was also... japanese! Or rather, mixed.

Mixed was also the feeling throughout the thing, there was the tenderness of being hugging each other all the time, the way I was disproportionally happy with the fact she was so fluent in portuguese that she talked real fast - the first would be surprising, but isn't something I give that much importance too, given I speak english well enough; the latter would be just annoying, but I seemed to like it that way; there was also desperation in me, due to the bizarre circumstances: we were spending the holidays in a favela.

It was a very big house, with everyone in my family there, we were running around from room to room in desperation, things were being very strange and my brother was being an asshole constantly, the way he's only been to me one or two times in his life, dissing me constantly.

The japanese rachel was understanding, caring and helpful all of the time, even being from another country, she seemed more familiarized with the hostile enviroment than I. I remember few concrete things, only that we were hugging most of the time and at some point, a family meeting at a house's front porch became hectic due to the presence of drug dealers.

The last thing that I remember was being in a bathroom, knowing I was going to get in a plane. I had just been to that room and now it was destroyed, dirty, full of dust and construction leftovers. I needed to shit and the toilet was broken. I managed to do it somehow, but then the paper was all dirty from... other people's crap.

I remember having cleansed myself somehow, and as I left the room, cutie japanese rachel was holding a picture of me as a baby with a diaper that had shit coming out of it. She looked at me like mothers look at their children and talked about her "baby that was bleeding shit". I get embarassed and want to run away.

I wake up with a stiff neck and no will to close my eyes again for a while.