The ghost of what should have been.

Today is the second day that I sleep badly and wake up with the feeling that I had tense dreams all night.
There are indeed some ghosts walking around me.

One is called "seeing someone grow old and lose their independence." It cools the air, makes everything greenish, and blows the feeling that the rollercoaster is slowing down; death is right behind door, waiting with its patient and omniscient grin, laughing at your hopes.

The other one is named "let's get insecure and sabotage ourselves." Makes you paranoid and blurs out intentions, expectations, fears and reality. Makes me scared of losing everything, all at once.

There are others, which I can't define. But they're all around, nudging my shoulder at night, waking me up for no reason.

Fear. It slips in through the smallest breach, like a goddamn virus, and takes over way too fast.
It's about time I quit this shit.

(Soundtrack: Imperial Teen playing Lipstick)