Eerie Motion of Blood Cells

Wonder if she's doing as I am, living on, looking ahead.
I know she's sick as usual, but did she find someone that understands her everyday diseases like I never could?
A week ago these thoughts were painful, but now it's like some blur. I want her to be well, but am I ready to know what she's REALLY up to? It could hurt a lot, or it could be nothing, I have no clue.
For now, I'm skipping anything relationship-related in our conversations, and I hope she does it too.
I don't want her anymore, I just feel like we have become one for so long, she's been my hiding place forever. Erasing someone from your past is hard enough, let alone from your future.
The more I get to know others, the more I realize it just wasn't meant to be. There was no interaction, we were not complementary colors: we were both the same color, with different pigmentations that simply couldn't mix well.
Different is good, kissing the mirror everyday is so destructive. You can't help but keep criticising someone else for things you can't control yourself.

Today I'm definitely seeing "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".